ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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