The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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