By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
