nut hugger
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
