11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
