i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
