guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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