we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize