I'm laying in your front yard are you home
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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