my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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