Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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