If i come over, it means nothing
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
