You work out of a Hotel?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
