Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
