My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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