How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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