but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
