If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize