They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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