ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
