In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
