She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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