um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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