she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
