So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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