I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Drake has all the answers
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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