How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize