Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My balls are so social today.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Bring me that man meat
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
