Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
