After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
