No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
