Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
