and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
