I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
