i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
