I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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