He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize