I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You smell like stripper and shame
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Randomize
