why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
