Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
