kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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