Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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