im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
how drunk are you?
Several
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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