All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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