Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
