Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
accomplished twins. life is a go
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
