I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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