I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
