I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
