spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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