So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
