Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
