Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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