did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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