I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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