Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
