Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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