My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize